maybe I could write a little bit ^^

It has been quite some time since I wrote here last time and no, it’s not because I don’t like my blog anymore 😛
I still think that this blog is very important to me, but I was getting insecure about telling about things that aren’t so much game related anymore, since I originally had made this blog with the intention of using it to show my progress in it.
Well….but life doesn’t always go smoothly and I have been on sick leave for many months now….and in therapy and on medication and trying to work through the problems I’m having.
It honestly feels a little bit surreal, to be told that I can “practically” do whatever I want, even encouraged to do so, because for so many years I was always bashing myself to not be good enough and not living up to mine or “imagined others” standards.
Also…last time I thought I took a break for a year to “find myself and get better” it was without therapy and I felt guilty about it being a hole in my resume….
but…that doesn’t matter anymore…all I care about now, is that I can find a way to get better and get back to what I love doing…which is making games, creating worlds, being creative and sharing it with others ^^

I’m….a little bit more hopeful again, that things might go better…slowly…carefully…allowing myself to believe that my past, especially the bad stuff that has happened, doesn’t need to continue defining my life and that I can change it.

I want to live.


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