Analysis Paralysis

I’m pretty sure everyone had that happening in their life at some point. You think about wanting to do something, but then before you start, you are getting thoughts of “What tools are the best to do this?” “What if I am not good enough to do this properly?” “What if I will fail?” “What if, I will make mistakes that can’t be fixed?” “What do I need to learn to not make any mistakes?” etc. just everything that stops you in your tracks, keeps you from moving, keeps you from doing what you wanted to do.
Thing is, I have had that alot of times and I’m insecure if I actually got “over it”, but I’m definitely working on it ๐Ÿ™‚
The worst part is though, is that it seems reasonable to think of those things. You think that it’s just rational thoughts, that this is the reality, you have to think ahead, you have to be smart and if you fail, it might mean that you are not cut out for it.

Which honestly, is stupid, because whatever we do, whatever we learn, we do mistakes, ALL THE TIME. No one is perfect, no one gets it on the first try. Heck! I would even say that things like “talent” are a lie, in the way people often think about it. In my opinion, “talent” is actually just a good fitting combination of skills that we have acquired over time that are sometimes difficult to identify as being part of that “talent”.
But of course, keeping it in a realm of “mystic” and “magic” and “genetic” etc. is making it easier to just discard whateverย interest or project to had, when hitting a wall, after just one try.

Yes, I was thinking for a long time this way and it made me depressed. I couldn’t settle down for a single “project” or skill or “talent” I thought I would find that one perfect fitting “talent” for me at some point and it would just “click” and I’m immediately good at it, without much effort.
But that’s not how life works.
That’s definitely NOT how it works.
People are good at what they are doing, because they are persistent, because they just kept going, because they struggled through it, because the fought off the walls that are coming from inexperience, until the point that those walls were not a problem anymore due to experience.
It just doesn’t stop there though, they continue struggling, just the problems are changing and are maybe problems that people with lower experience can not even begin to understand, since they still struggle with the first wall.

My husband was giving me this article today <solve small problems>, it’s about our expectations and how the media and big companies are helping to create that image, that we can just “pop out” new and awesome things, that brilliant stuff “just happens” over night andย how wrong that is. Aswell as how to do things actually, how to progress.

I started thinking about it: How ridiculous it is, that we have some kind of “hidden” expectation on ourselves, that we have to do it right, from the very beginning and if we can’t do that it would be more “realistic” to just give up.

I also noticed today, that I’m mostly browsing the unity forums, because I’m hoping to see my game there.
No, I’m not wanting someone else to make my game and I won’t stop thinking about making my own game, if someone makes something similar.
It’s just that I have a little paradox going on in my head, that I would like to see my game and it’s progress sooooo much in reality and would like to discuss it with other people , when I actually have to show something, that my mind wanders off to that “possibility” of seeing nice images of my game on the forums….that I actually go there looking,even though I know, that I have no topic there yet XD

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3 thoughts on “Analysis Paralysis

  1. Who does not know that? Questioning what you’re doing all the time. Can I do this? But what about that part… and that? I don’t have all the knowledge I need… I will fail. Ironically the only way of getting over this is that you just keep going. As you said everyone makes mistakes, but at least you can’t fail when you keep going and keep trying. I certainly know you’ll going to get a cool game running some day (and even if it takes years, I’ll be waiting to test it out – and all the other small ones you’ll make too of course ;p)

    I’m also struggling with that A LOT, and while I feel it has become better over the years it’s still so disturbing. I’m currently trying to find a new job in a games company, and it’s very unsettling that I feel I will lack everything they’re asking for… even when I know I do have experience in what they’re searching.

    I do not fully agree on the talent part though. I think that there is a certain talent someone is born with, like a talent to draw or a talent for languages, that then is influenced by your family, your surroundings, expectation of others and that of yourself and what you are doing.
    There is a quote from Stephen King (“Danse Macabre”) that pretty much fits how I think about it:
    “What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work and study; a constant process of honing. Talent is a dull knife that will cut nothing unless it is wielded with great force.”
    But I too believe that you practically can get good at anything if you truly want it, if you started out with a talent or not.

    And a question to the end… you have written your blog for a while now. Do you feel it does help you with your projects and thoughts? Just curious ๐Ÿ™‚
    I thought about making an own blog too very often… before I have known yours and even more so after starting to read here^^ But I always stop at “no one will read/be interested anyway”…

    *leaves some cookies and hot chocolate behind*

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    1. the blog DOES help me to remind me what I have done so far, that I can actually say that I’m going through with it for a longer time period now and that it makes me see my abilities etc. in a bit more realistic light I think ๐Ÿ™‚ and the time I spend on something. And I thought/still kinda think the same, that no one is really interested in my blog or wants to read it ๐Ÿ™‚ but at some point I just made the decision, that I don’t care. I write the blog for myself and it’s just “bonus” if someone else reads and enjoys it ๐Ÿ™‚ I also seem to have enough to work with it, that I feel guilty about not writing enough or dissappointing those who read or feeling like I’m not progressing enough/have not enough to tell etc. But then again, I’m also writing this blog because I know I’m not the only one out there who struggles and those kind of blogs where people talk about struggles in real life and struggles of game development without being fully depressive seem to be missing ๐Ÿ™‚ so I wanted to change that…and I think I’m succeeding at that ๐Ÿ˜€ Maybe, if I do get ever a game out that would be popular, maybe then people can come back to this blog here and read where it started ๐Ÿ™‚
      hmmmm nom nom nom hot chocolate and cookies ๐Ÿ˜€

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