Ups and Downs

There are┬ádays, when I feel, like the whole world is open for me. Days where I’m not doubting myself or my skills. Days, when I feel confident about my dreams, my future and being myself, but then there are other days, like today, when I feel like I just want to crawl into a corner, hiding from imagined expectations, hiding from the world, hiding whatever I do, because I’m afraid that I am not good enough.

This usually happens, when I go deeper into subjects and I notice how much specialized knowledge I’m missing. It feels a bit like a curse. On one side I really enjoy that I have very broad interests and talents, but at the same time I just do not know which ones I should approach to get better at.

Which is probably also one of the reasons why I’m getting sidetracked so often.

I don’t want to hide anymore or succumb to my fears. I don’t want to hold back whatever I want to achieve, because I can not know if someone out there is maybe loving exactly that! Maybe was waiting for something like that to be published for a long time and I should not deny them to get that experience, just because I have sometimes bad days.

This is my attempt to jump over my shadow and expose how I feel, as someone who made the decision to press forward no matter what comes or hard it will be.

Today I was mainly watching tutorials about unity and c# programming, nothing much to say about that ­čÖé

Tomorrow is a different day, so let’s see what it will bring…